Tonight I just want to wallow in self pity. Its just been a shitty week….literally. A stomach virus made its way into our house. Since Sunday….all 5 kids have at some point been vomiting or pooping. It’s looking like we’re on the tail end of it though…pun intended.
It seems like my kids are out to get me sometimes. Like they get together and say “lets see how far we can push her today, WHILE puking….”. Lawson and Loxley are just about to be climbing out of their cribs.This is a BAD BAD thing. I’m going to be pulling everything out of their rooms, just put a mattress on the floor, and take the door knob off the inside so they can’t open the door but I can. I’ve been severely stressed out about that. Probably over thinking it. But I LOVE them and their 13hr sleep nights! I just don’t want it to stop! EVER!
On top of that, I’m REALLY trying hard to get my online shop opened. I’m just at a point where I don’t know what to do next. Google is probably going to revoke my stupid question privileges soon. I actually made an appt for next week for my bank guy/friend/neighbor, to talk about MORE stupid questions.
Also feeling pretty alone lately. I don’t feel like anybody gets me. I know more than anyone…I’m a weird ass person. But generally, I’m a good person, I’m a nice person. Like right now I’m caught up trying to make everybody happy. I do this to myself I guess. I mean, I’m trying to make my parents happy, my husband happy, my kids happy….but that makes me so very unhappy. Maybe everyone could come to me one day and say “jeryn, what can we do to make you happy?”. I HATE being caught in the middle.
We’ve been planning this Disney trip for 2 years now. And here we are 2 months before we go, me & Larry don’t know if we can take the babies. We were hit pretty bad financially a couple of months ago. Which it seems like we get hit with something financial every few months. I mean we CAN go.But my parents would be paying for a large chunk of it.And where we’re staying/eating/going…..it EXPENSIVE. I’ve asked them what our portion is going to be so I can pay, and they won’t tell me. And Larry says we’re not going at all if we can’t pay for our portion. I’m hoping for whatever I get back from taxes I can put towards Disney.
I just want my Prince & Princess Quads to see their castle!!!