Author Archives: southernblondelife

Well this week sucked…

Tonight I just want to wallow in self pity.  Its just been a shitty week….literally. A stomach virus made its way into our house. Since Sunday….all 5 kids have at some point been vomiting or pooping. It’s looking like we’re on the tail end of it though…pun intended.

It seems like my kids are out to get me sometimes. Like they get together and say “lets see how far we can push her today, WHILE puking….”. Lawson and Loxley are just about to be climbing out of their cribs.This is a BAD BAD thing. I’m going to be pulling everything out of their rooms, just put a mattress on the floor, and take the door knob off the inside so they can’t open the door but I can. I’ve been severely stressed out about that. Probably over thinking it. But I LOVE them and their 13hr sleep nights! I just don’t want it to stop! EVER!

On top of that, I’m REALLY trying hard to get my online shop opened. I’m just at a point where I don’t know what to do next. Google is probably going to revoke my stupid question privileges soon. I actually made an appt for next week for my bank guy/friend/neighbor, to talk about MORE stupid questions.

Also feeling pretty alone lately. I don’t feel like anybody gets me. I know more than anyone…I’m a weird ass person. But generally, I’m a good person, I’m a nice person. Like right now I’m caught up trying to make everybody happy. I do this to myself I guess. I mean, I’m trying to make my parents happy, my husband happy, my kids happy….but that makes me so very unhappy. Maybe everyone could come to me one day and say “jeryn, what can we do to make you happy?”. I HATE being caught in the middle.

We’ve been planning this Disney trip for 2 years now. And here we are 2 months before we go, me & Larry don’t know if we can take the babies. We were hit pretty bad financially a couple of months ago. Which it seems like we get hit with something financial every few months. I mean we CAN go.But my parents would be paying for a large chunk of it.And where we’re staying/eating/going… EXPENSIVE. I’ve asked them what our portion is going to be so I can pay, and they won’t tell me. And Larry says we’re not going at all if we can’t pay for our portion.  I’m hoping for whatever I get back from taxes I can put towards Disney.

I just want my Prince & Princess Quads to see their castle!!!






Chick-Fil-A outing!

Well it’s just been one of those weeks! But really every week is one of those weeks!

Larry started PT Monday…so hopefully that will help and he’ll get back to normal again. Whatever normal is.

Tuesday, my sitter day, the little girls were supposed to have dentist appointments, Bryson also was supposed to have Speech, but I cancelled because I wasn’t sure if we’d make it on time. Well right before the girls appt, the dentist office called and said they needed to reschedule. So I actually had a whole morning to myself! Well kind of, Ella had a trike a thon I went to….then I was free! I went down town and stalked a few boutiques…then met my mom for lunch. It was such a nice day!

I honestly don’t remember Wednesday.

Thursday, I met my friend Meagan at Chick-Fil-A, and kept her baby Abbi while she went on a job interview. The babies had such a good time! I’ve decided that Chick-Fil-A is now our go to spot when I want to get the babies out! I called on my way there and let them know that I’d be there with 5 two year olds. Not for any special treatment, but to mainly ask if they had 5 high chairs and if their play area was enclosed from the restaurant. But when we got there, 2 sweet ladies met us at the van, stopped drive through traffic, and helped us in the restaurant. Once inside, they had a giant table set up for us right beside the play area, with the high chairs, placemats for the kids, and a toy stuffed cow at all 5 kids seats! They helped me get the kids situated while I told my friend bye and good luck on the interview. One employee stood there with the babies, and the other went with me to order food. She helped me get all their drinks to the table, and our food was delivered to the table for us! Now my kids don’t get out much, especially in restaurants. So they were happy as could be and eating their nuggets. When it came time to play, my 2 special lady employees came right back and helped me get them all inside the play area. Play area was PERFECT! They have seriously never been on any kind of playground. So they had no idea what to do. One sat down and started playing with the other kids shoes, another sat down and was squishing the squishy floor, and the other two just ran. Abbi knew exactly what to do. She climbed right up the play tunnel, went through it, then slid right down like she’s done it a million times.After a little while, mine finally got the hang of it! All 5 seemed to have a blast! The manager came in and checked on us 2 or 3 times! When the melt downs started from Lawson, I figured it was time to go. My special ladies helped me put everyone in their wagon, stopped drive through traffic again, and helped me load my van up with children. Before we left, she gave me 5 gift cards for Free kids meals. I can not express how impressed with this restaurant I was! I told my husband several times since then, that we will be making weekly trips there just so they can get out and play in that awesome play area! I don’t expect that every time…not at all…but they did us wonderful when they didn’t have to do a single thing!

Friday—again, I don’t remember.

Saturday however, was the even of the year! The Vice girls birthday party! Emma and Elizabeth are Ella’s absolute BFFs! Their grandparents live on some gorgeous property, and they bring out a ferris wheel, bounce houses, horse rides, petting zoo, 2 giant birthday cakes, a sandbar that they all flock to, and a man that does balloon animals. Their dad and grandpa work the grill with burgers and hot dogs, drinks, chips….I swear this shit is so much better than the fair! I may steal this idea for the quads 3rd bday! Then afterwards, my mom came over to watch the kids while me and larry went to an early anniversary dinner. All I wanted was Half Shell Oyster House. Been wanting it for a year, and for some reason or another we haven’t been able to we get there, and theres a line of kids in prom dresses out the door and down the side of the damn building. So we’re like “ok, we’ll find somewhere new.” Every single anniversary dinner worthy restaurant was the same. Fucking prom.We ended up at the Half Shell an hour farther away from the other one, and waited. I may have cried on the way.But we enjoyed ourselves. We had a lot of time to talk about things, life, kids, work, vacation. We needed that time.

In other news, I’m getting closer with this whole online store open. So stressful!






















Stress level 12

I woke up Friday in a great mood! I had this super realistic dream about Andy Cohen & Anderson Cooper, they finally opened their eyes and decided I needed to be their BFF. Like, SUCH BFFs, that Anderson trusted me and Andy to pick him out something to wear to some fancy event he had going on. He said we could pick through his closet which was the size of most master bedrooms. In my dream, his apartment was all neutral colors, clean lines, chic and gorgeous of course. No piles of clutter like there is at my house. Kelly Ripa came over while me and Andy were trying to find the perfect outfit. Then we had fun and went through all of his stuff. All we found were receipts from Boston Market. Thats when I woke up and was sad that I had to return to my stressful boring life πŸ˜•One day I’ll get to NYC and get some friend time with them! Restraining order or not!

After I picked Ella up from school, she asked me if we could come back and go to the book fair in their library. I had been avoiding it all week because we are BROKE. Like BROKE BROKE.  Then she tells me that its the last day, and she wants to use the money Pawpaw gave her. So I said ok. As we were getting ready to go back, I tell her to get her purse and make sure all her money is in it. She’s got it! $10, and a zip lock bag full of change. I grab a $20 out of our “BITCH YOU’RE BROKE” jar just in case she went over a little.So she wonders around looking at 8,843 different things for the next hour, and decides on 3 books, a book mark, and a poster. We walk up to check out and hand the nice librarian all of her goods.I knew she wouldn’t have quite enough for all of it, thats why I grabbed our BROKE BITCH cash. So she tells us the balance is $21. So I say “ok Ella, lets see how much you can pay” she takes the $10 bill out, and sticks it in the pocket of her purse.then hands the check out librarian the ziplock full of pennies nickels and dimes. I say “um…what happened with that $10 bill??” She says “oh I think I’m going to save it for Disney World.  Her change equaled EXACTLY  $1, so I just gave her my $20. WTF

On our way home, she starts snapping the rubber band around her hand, then making up a song called “Rubber band Hand”…..So naturally I start singing “rubber band man” by T.I. she wasn’t so impressed, and told me that’s not how her song will be going. A few min later, our conversation went a little like this:

E-singing “rubber band hand, oh my rubber band hand”

me-white girl rapping “rubber band man wild as the taliban….”

e–singings”rubber band hand, in my big blue van”

me- white girl rapping “nine in my right, forty-five in the other hand”

It was such a great memorable moment πŸ™‚


Then there was this douche bag Larry went to College with who had a problem with me posting a picture of my son who had Minnie Mouse Ears on himself. He had so many feelings about this, that he wrote Larry a message telling him how he needs to not allow me to do those things and not to confuse him and he’s the MAN of the house blah blah blah bull shit. We she showed it to me, I had to put it down. I couldn’t read past the first few sentences. When I finally was ready to read the rest, my blood was boiling. I’m not sure I’ve ever been that mad in my entire life.I wanted to physically HURT this man. Instead, I posted it to my favorite mom groups to get their advice. And I swear those bitches give the best advice.I knew I wanted to respond to this jackass. Larry did already respond to him…basically told him to mind his business, he’s the head of the household,  and don’t worry about us. His response to that? “Glad you set her straight” Biiiiiitch…..



Anyways, after 24hours, I decided to write him back. I needed to cool off or it would just have several paragraphs of “fuck off fuck off fuck off”. So while my xanex was working good…I wrote out my comeback. It’s not my normal comeback, but it’s my adulting comeback. I’m proud of myself.


Saturday was a fun day! My cousins had a vow renewal wedding! Got to hang out with some cousins I haven’t seen in a while, listen to some good music, have a few good drinks, and eat some good wedding cake! Me and Ella rode with my parents, and she decided to stay the night there. FINE with me! However when I picked her up today, she told me that we need to have a coming home celebration for her at the Cheesecake Factory. My parents live 10 min away….the cheesecake factory is 2 hours away…


Tonight, I spent 2 hours staring at my computer. I was in advanced English in high school, made A’s in all my college English classes, but for the life of me. I can NOT seem to write a Business plan. I need to get this done so bad! It’s making me feel like the dumbest person on the planet.






































I find myself in bed, my 6yr old asleep next to me, and finishing up watching Moana. It’s such a good Disney movie!

Well today I decided I needed to start back going to the gym. We have a Disney vacation coming up, then summer. And I’d like to not be a complete slob. I was doing really good last spring, I lost 30lbs in 3 months, going to the gym 5x a week, I was stronger, and I felt GREAT! Then we went on a D.C. vacation, then summer, then school started, my son was in and out of the hospital a few times, then it was Christmas….now it’s March and I’ve gained that 30lbs right back. I got me some of those MLM It Works! pills. So maybe those will work like they claim. Me and my cousin decided to start going together mon/wed/fri. She couldn’t go Monday because of a sitter situation, then her baby was sick today. So I dusted off the ole treadmill at home, put my computer on it, and watched Property Brothers while I walked a mile. I may have also talked Larry into letting us get a home gym. Have you ever priced those things? SHIT! But if you buy them from qvc or hsn you can pay on them for like 6months without a credit card. So there’s that.

While the kids napped today, I tried catching up on my trashy reality shows, but our internet was acting ridic. Our AC man then came, and decided that it was a clog in our AC drainage thingie. So he goes to lowes and comes back. He fixes it, and the following conversation started:

AC guy: “now this is sulfuric acid, if you have any kind of clog in any kind of drain, it’ll eat it right out!”

Me: “oh is that the same stuff you use to put dead people in after you murder them?”

AC man: 😳

He left soon after that, and brought his sulfuric acid with him πŸ˜‚ doing shit like that to people make me so happy!

So after that, me and the babies got in the van to go get Ella, and we’re waiting in the car line I read an article on Facebook that broke my heart. This black heart doesn’t break often. Well this article is about how a daycare worker was convicted of murder, because she threw a crying 16month old on the floor because he wouldn’t stop crying, he sat up, got his blanket, and went and laid down while sucking his thumb. Then an hour later they discovered he died. TEARS….DRY HEAVING…in the elementary pick up line. It reminded me so much of my Lawson. He had an unknown dairy allergy when he was around that age. He cried A LOT. Loud cries. Cries where we were both crying at the pediatricians office begging for help. That’s the day we found out it was a dairy allergy. That diagnosis made his little life so much better. He started drinking expensive ass formula that made him feel better. But after the 2nd day on that formula, and he smiled and laughed for me for the first time in a month… made me cringe a little less buying those $50 cans of formula! But back to that poor baby, Lawson does the same thing when he’s tired or upset. He gets his security blankets, sucks his fingers, and finds a comfortable place to lay while sniffing the tags on his Tula blanket. That so could have been my baby. It just breaks my heart for his mother!

We get home and I decide an easy peasy dinner. Crescent dogs! Except the babies ate ALL 12 of them and left none for me or Larry πŸ˜‘

No more Ambian before blogging….

Holy hell…I just read my last blog. I’m not a grammar nazi or anything, but those run on sentences? Does my Mac not have spell check? When I first started taking ambian, Amazon Prime boxes & Lularoe would show up at my front door…it was like fucking Christmas! But me and the checking account had to have a come to Jesus meeting with myself. Then I switched from ambian shopping, to raising hell on local crunchy mom Facebook page I’m on. I really love most of their crunchy asses, and what I love more is harassing them. I don’t consider myself crunchy…the Queen Bee of the crunchies called me “soggy granola”…I think that’s appropriate. I then realized that I was pretty close to getting myself kicked out for my inappropriateness. So….here I am again…realizing I have a problem blogging on ambian.

Larry has discovered The Big Bang Theory…so he/we has spent every night for the past few days watching it on Kodi. I personally am not a fan. He keeps referring himself to the super smart one because he gets all the nerd jokes. I don’t laugh, then he calls me Penny. Whatever.

I’m taking a night off from working pretty damn hard on this shop I desperately want to open. I refuse to use the B word (boutique), but thats basically what it is. My Pawpaw and Parents own 2 businesses, and I’m wanting to be a big girl and do this on my own. I’ve never felt so dumb. All while watching The big bang theory nerds.

Our AC also went out again tonight. NOT HAPPY. I sent a video of the AC button thing not working to our AC guy. He knows I’m pissed. He told me how to rig it up to work for the night until he can get here tomorrow. Hopefully my house doesn’t burn down.

Bryson had his occupational therapy today…he loves his momma and bubbie day! We run errands while the others nap and I have a sitter, have lunch together normally with my mom, then head to therapy, and to pick Ella up from school.

I’m definitely needing a girls night. I’m missing my friends. We have a lot of home stuff that I’ve been pretty stressed about. So that will be planned soon.

Goodnight bitches!




Another day, another shit show

Lets see, the weekend has come and gone….and I didn’t get a nap. Ella had her last soccer game of the season, a tournament actually. Luckily they lost the first game so we didn’t have to be at the soccer field any longer than we needed. And she could have cared less if they won or not. This was her first year playing soccer, and she seriously just loves playing! They started in September (maybe october), and she has improved so much! She went from being the youngest and smallest player on her team, so scoring 3 goals the past few games! She also got her first loose tooth last night! The other kids in her class have all lost at least 2-3 teeth…so its a big deal for her!

We also got a last minute visit from our oldest Kaleigh! Ella was SO excited! She looks up to her so much!

I was also a real parent last night. Ella has been very artistic lately. Meaning, while she has been creating art, she has painted all over my floors, my couch, and left a red sharpie out that the babies promptly got and wrote all over the walls with. I found a roll of Birthday wrapping paper that I rolled out and told her to do her art work on it. Apparently she misunderstood me and made a jacket out of the wrapping paper. There has also been tiny pieces of paper that she has cut up, crayons, markers, scissors, tape, all over the floor of her play area. oh! She also decided that her kitten needed its paw prints done the same way babies have their foot prints done when they’re born. So there’s green paw prints on my floor too. “BUT LOOK MOMMA! ME AND JINGLES HAVE MATCHING PAW PRINTS!” I told her about 87 times to clean it up. I finally told her that I was taking a bath, and if it was still a mess when I got out, that I was going to throw every bit of it away. I was so serious! I took a nice long relaxing bath….get out…and its still a mess. AND….shes sitting in the living room watching a movie with Larry and Kaleigh.  I tell her “OK….I’M THROWING ALL THIS SHIT AWAY!” and larry goes “oh I didn’t know she was supposed to clean it up….its my fault i told her to come in here!” ugh. So I give her a little longer to clean it up. Finally….I got the broom and started sweeping all that shit up. She started moving trying to get all the “important” things out of the brooms way. You know, chewed on glue sticks, broken mardi gras beads, half a crayon. I think she got the point though. And I WILL do this next time her room is a disaster!

She has a thing about waking Kaleigh up bright and early whenever she stays the night, so I told her that when she wakes up, DO NO WAKE KALEIGH UP. DO NOT WAKE ME UP. Let the babies wake me up. I told her to get a nutritious pop tart, watch some netflix, and patiently wait for us all to get up. She did that. I was so very proud of her! Until I walked in the living room….there was baby EVERYWHERE. All over the floors in the kitchen and living room…baby powder. It smelled nice…but my floors were fucking white from BABY POWDER. I asked her why there was baby powder everywhere….hell I didn’t even know we had any! It was on my shopping list because I thought we were out! She tells me her and the kitten were playing super heroes. I just couldn’t be upset about that. She let us all sleep and she was bored. whatever.

After lunch, we had a family get together with some of my side of the family we rarely get to see. Well, Larry sees one more often because he works with her, and me & her daughter are pretty close Facebook friends….but were never really close when we were younger and lived close. Not sure why….just never were. So that was nice, my pawpaw throughly enjoyed himself! He LOVES getting around friends and family and just talking about any and everything. I swear I have the greatest Pawpaw ever created! 90 years old, blind, and mostly deaf. He’s sweet and generous, loves ella, loves Frederic (Brysons middle name is Frederic, so he calls him Frederic), and he doesn’t really have a connection with the other babies. That sounds mean, but its really not.Ella was his first great grandchild, she had him wrapped around her tiny finger rather quickly. Then when I had the babies, he didn’t want to go to the NICU to see them. Why? well for 1, he’s blind. 2. they were in islets and wouldn’t have been able to hold them. 3.Can’t see a thing. He wanted to wait until they came home to hold them. Well Bryson aka Frederic, was the first one home. Him and my parents were waiting in our house for us to pull in from bringing him home. Larry took him right out of the carseat, and handed him to pawpaw. The most precious moment. He cried, I cried, we all cried. Bryson was 3 months old at the time, and this was the first time he met him. TEARS!

Tonight, he gave Ella 2 commemorative coins from ship Christenings of ships he helped build. I just thought that was so special of him to think about her when he found them!

Now…as I’m begging ella to go to bed…and PRAYING Lawson doesn’t climb out of his crib….I’ll say good night!











Rockin, robot…do the robot dance!

I couldn’t come up with a title, so y’all get a song lyric from The Mother Goose Club that’s been stuck in my head for the past week. The babies are OBSESSED with it! I really think it’s a gift from God. I’ll turn it up, and they’ll stop doing whatever asshole thing they’re doing….and blankly stare at the tv with their mouths gaped open. Thank you god for Mother Goose club πŸ™πŸ»

This has been on my mind for a couple of days, I meant to write about it Tuesday, but it just didn’t happen. I took Bryson and Lawson to get their hair cuts, do errands, and take Bryson to Speech therapy. Tuesday’s are normally mine and Bryson’s days, we’ll grocery shop, get some stuff done around town, then therapy. Well since Bryson needed a cut this time, I decided to bring Lawson along to get one too. All the babies had their first haircuts together at Disney world when they were 14 months old. None of them needed a cut. But I just wanted the experience. They all did good except Loxley, she freaked out and ended up with God awful bangs. Lawson didn’t have any hair to cut, so he cut his one tiny curl. Since then, Bryson has had probably 8 cuts since then, Lawson non because his hair just grows slow I guess! Well lately it’s decided to grow fast and it’s in his eyes and pretty curly! I LOVE it but want it out of his eyes. Anyways l, back to taking them. Bryson wasn’t into it and didn’t get the ideal cut that I wanted. But that’s his fault for being a squirmy jerk. All that was cut on Lawson was his bangs…and the rest is curly. So they look like the guys on Dumb and Dumber πŸ˜‚ 

Anyways, I took Lawson to Bryson’s speech appointment with us. As we were waiting in the waiting room, a sweet old lady sat down beside me, and asked me how many years apart they are. So I lie tell her they’re twins. Side note: if I only have 2 with me, I tell everybody they’re twins. I don’t feel like doing the whole QUADS!? 😱 conversation all the time. 

She starts going on and on and on about how hard it must be to have twins, and she doesn’t see how I do it, pretty much the same things said to me when I tell someone I say I have quads, just less invasive. Then she says “Can you imagine if you had TRIPLETS?!?!” Luckily they called our name when she said that….old lady, I’m very sorry I lied to you. You were the sweetest thing ever!

We got some pretty shitty news today, not really ready to put it out there yet πŸ˜•

I’m also working very hard into opening an Ecommerce business. I’m wanting to open a clothing, accessory, kids, shoes, and maybe some home goods type of website. It would be mostly dropship, but I’d also like some inventory in my house. I have an unused office room in our house that I’d love to turn into a small showroom and/or desk area for me to get things done. Exciting and stressful at the same time!